The Ubisoft 'eSports' presentation

The following was written for Cadred, but the article never ran due to other stuff coming up. I've decided to post this on my blog. This is in response to the E3 presentation.

Also, you can find the presentation here 

E-Sports has always consisted of a wide variety of disciplines. RTS, FPS, Sport games, almost every gametype that has ever existed has some form of competitiveness to it. But the FPS genre has been lying dormant for a while. There aren't any big titles coming out—CS: GO notwithstanding, and I'm conveniently forgetting Call of Duty 2319038: Super Ultra Futuristic Warfare With Lasers—and the buzz that has always hung around titles like that has dissipated into a bleak void. Okay, so that might be a tad dramatic, but the fact remains that we haven't heard a lot coming from any games. No massive tournaments have been announced, it's all sort of low-key at the moment. It seems like the FPS scene is holding their collective breath, waiting for CS: GO to release.

But wait! Because there, on the horizon flies Nadeo. After the ridiculous success of Trackmania Nations, the software developer based in France figured that they could get yet another slice of the eSport pie by developing a shooter. This has become Shootmania. A Quake-esque game that's based on simple mechanics and mass-marketed for a broad appeal. They're hoping to capitalize on a still budding market, and they're going in, guns blazing.

Beta keys have been handed out, tournaments have been hosted, all with Shootmania on top of the billing. If you're a top player in an FPS game, chances are you will have had a go at the game already, and things are looking up for the game. This all was brought to a pinnacle when UBISOFT presented the game at E3.

And that's where it all went downhill.

Before we go down this dark path, I want to make one thing clear. This is how I experienced the presentation. I'm sure there are people who thought it was well done, fun and informative as a whole. But from the people I've spoken to, it seems that there are quite a few people who agree with me as well.

Whoever thought up the concept of this show match, should be fired immediately.

It wasn't the concept itself that I'm against. I love watching show matches. Seeing the best players go at it in a fresh new game? Sign me up, I'll be there to watch. And when I heard that they were doing an eSports segment on E3, the biggest gaming exposition in the world? Oh man, the possibilities were endless and the sky was the limit.

It started off with a nice introduction and some facts and figures about eSports. Quite a few watchers, it's getting bigger, very competitive, yada yada yada. The drill we all know and love, really. But then... oh my God, then things just went south. And I mean, nosedive south. Because there was some sort of contrived play to get to the inevitable conclusion of a show match. The participants? A Robin Givens lookalike and someone who sources—read: YouTube comments—describe as a Toby. Sufficed to say, they wouldn't get close to Broadway. Even an off-Broadway production seemed off limits to these two. The jokes should've been accompanied by crickets chirping because they certainly weren't getting anything from the audience.

But you know what? I'll forgive them for it. I've had my fair share of experiences that started out weak and became better with time. It's inevitable really. So my expectations weren't really dented. Besides, who cared about the presenters? It was all about the game, and given the people that would take part, as well as commentate on it, we were in for a treat.

We were introduced to the casters and I got excited when they introduced Joe Miller. Who doesn't know and love this veteran of eSports commentating? Alongside him was Miss Harvey, someone who I didn't really recognize or know really, but hey, we got Joe Miller! What is better than getting Joe Miller?

The man, the myth, the legend himself

The teams were introduced—featuring awkward team names. It's just not eSports if there aren't awkward team names—and we looked set to begin. Right from the get-go it seemed obvious that the teams weren't fairly matched, to say the least. The male team, featuring the talents of SpawN and stermy, and the WoW prowess (does this count as experience in the eSport field?) of Swifty. The ladies were represented by Marla, Venema and Ali. I'll be honest, I haven't really heard from any of these ladies, but considering the accolades that Joe mentioned they had won, I figure they're quite big. But it proved moot as SpawN came up big by landing two early 'rockets' and winning the first round.

So, for anyone not familiar with the game, or at least this showmatch, the game mode on display was a variation of Capture the Flag. One player with a railgun versus three with rocket launchers. A countdown timer is included and when it reaches 0, the objective can be caught for an instant round win for the solo player.

So after the first round it was up to Stermy with the railgun, which I just thought was an unfair matchup from the get-go. All the ladies had CS backgrounds which, while still requires aim, just won't be on par with someone who has gotten so used to a railgun in his or her hands through their Quake background.  Joe tried to salvage it with professional commentating, but I had the feeling that even he was longing to go back to those simple days where he could take off his T-Shirt and show the world that he was supporting e-Sahara.

The game looks rather bland.

This went on until it was SpawN's turn, 2 – 1 in favour of the males. It came down to a 2v1 and I knew I was supposed to feel excitement... I just wasn't feeling it. Then SpawN captured the control point, and the game was over. And it was dead quiet, the only sound still remaining, Joe's voice blaring over the P.A. and the intermittent 'Oohs' and 'Aahs' by Miss Harvey. It took me a while to realize that the game was over, and I'm sure that the crowd had the same head-scratching moment where they turned to their neighbour and went: "Was that it?" 

This fella would've stolen the show.

And that was when the serious flaws came up. Because it just wasn't exciting, despite Joe, Miss Harvey and the players all giving it their best. And it didn't help that the two presenters continued with their really awkward play after it was all done. It seemed like they realized it too, as they made short work of it to continue on with the main event of it all, the innovations that Ubisoft would bring to the table in the near future.

I understand that most people will see this as me looking a gift horse in the mouth, but aren't we allowed to be critical about it, even if companies throw us a bone? I feel that even in times where we're desperate—and we should be considering the still limited appeal that eSports has, despite the glowing numbers—we should still be able to critique things. And despite it not being their intention, the skit looked to be ridiculing the entire idea, instead of embracing it.

So in short, I love that Ubisoft paid attention to it. But please, please, please stop making it so cringe worthy. There is a time and place for theatrics, and when you're presenting something that directly has to do with something as unstable as eSports, it's just not the place for it. We had the chance to show a large portion of gaming consumers that eSports could be taken serious, but what we got was a play that made me want to yank my nails out with a pair of pliers, followed by awkward introductions—which cannot be faulted to either Miss Harvey or Joe, who both tried to keep it as professional as possible—and a demolition job. Kudos to the players for not really caring about it, because if I was there, I would've probably facepalmed myself so hard, I would end up with a broken nose.